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The Onion

  1. Throne Off
  2. Family Has Rule Where They Don’t Eat Cell Phones At Dinner
  3. Dad’s Entire Parenting Strategy Just Ensuring Son Doesn’t Become Yankees Fan
  4. Nation’s Dive Bar Couples Announce Plan To Sloppily Make Out After Screaming Match
  5. Ron DeSantis Launches U.S. Presidential Bid In Glitch-Filled Twitter Broadcast
  6. Man At Beach Worried Wife Hasn’t Surfaced For Air Because She Cheating On Him
  7. Fans Speculate Who Taylor Swift Might Be Talking About In New Song ‘My Weird Little Racist Guy’
  8. Aveeno Unveils Moisture-Locking Facial Breading Treatment
  9. 104-Year-Old Man Awarded WWII Medal Just To Be Nice
  10. This Map Shows Whether Each State Calls Abortions ‘Soda’ Or ‘Pop’
  11. Scientists Ambivalent About Breakthrough After Bringing Hitler Back To Life
  12. Drone Operator Takes Out Few Civilians To Seem Busy As Supervisor Walks By
  13. Jeff Bezos, Lauren Sánchez Engaged
  14. Jimmy Carter Completes 4-Minute Mile
  15. 4-Hour Standing Ovation Leaves Cannes Audience With Mangled Nubs
  16. Mom Grates Lemon Zest Onto Plate As Dessert
  17. Matt Gaetz Takes Out Half-Page Ad In House Bill Congratulating Teen Girl On High School Graduation
  18. Chlamydia-Like Bacteria Found Growing In Great Barrier Reef
  19. Ron DeSantis Relaunches Presidential Campaign From Inside Burning Tesla
  20. Target Removes All Towels From Stores After Soaking-Wet Lunatic Objects To Dryness
  21. Florida Woman Fills Out 25-Page Application To Receive Tampon From Dispenser
  22. This Week's Most Viral News: May 25, 2023
  23. Presidential Candidate Profile: Tim Scott
  24. Anheuser-Busch Confirms All Bud Light Cans Have Undergone Gay Conversion Therapy
  25. Catholic Priests Defend Church Amid Sex Abuse Scandal
  26. Well, The Big Takeaways From Our Annual Seals Issue Are 1) Those Fuckers Bite, And 2) Your Other Fingers Are Worth Jack Shit Without A Thumb
  27. Area Man Always Ready To Comment On Song’s Bridge
  28. Grandma Asks For Help Looking Up Rule 34 Images
  29. Jared Leto Announces New Skincare Line For Him To Rub On Everyone Himself
  30. Childless Couple Watches Empty Crib From Doorway
  31. U-Haul Truck Carrying Nazi Flag ‘Intentionally’ Crashes Near White House
  32. Quiz: Could You Pass A Police Officer Entrance Exam?
  33. Man Embarrassed After Taking Bullet Intended For Person Behind Him
  34. NAACP Travel Advisory Warns Florida ‘Openly Hostile’ Toward African Americans
  35. Diversity Panel Features Cornell Graduates From 3 Different Years
  36. Study Finds Average American Considers Biting Stranger 3 Times A Day
  37. Couple Fighting After Man Admits He Doesn’t Even Know Girlfriend’s Dad’s Eye Color
  38. Americans React To The Nation’s Masculinity Crisis
  39. Florida Bans Men From Becoming Nurses
  40. Athletes Respond To LeBron James’ Rumored Retirement
  41. Every Short Film At Festival About Widowed Father Learning To Braid Daughter’s Hair
  42. HBO Max Changes Name To ‘The Sloppy Sleepytime Television Engine: All Aboard!’
  43. Meaning Fact: Did You Know?
  44. Chick-Fil-A’s First-Ever Restaurant Closes After 56 Years
  45. Scientists Link Dwindling Insect Populations To Pale Weird Kid
  46. Houseguest Offended After Host Only Offers Rawhide To Dog
  47. Police Came In Their Pants As Fast As They Could When They Got Domestic Violence Call
  48. Man Worried He Might Have Mentioned Sorcery Too Many Times During Job Interview
  49. New Evidence Shows Martin Luther King Never Called Malcolm X A Butterface
  50. Voters React To GOP Candidate Vivek Ramaswamy

Waterford Whispers

  1. God Finally Ready To Move On From Mary, Joins Tinder
  2. Breakthrough As First News Article In Over A Decade Written Without Aid Of Embedded Tweets
  3. Russia Issues 437,819th Warning To The West
  4. Ikea Cuts Man Off For His Own Good
  5. Being A Horrible Bastard The Key To Longevity, Finds Report
  6. Nation’s Hoteliers Fear Anti-Immigrant Protests Could Impact Profits
  7. Only A Matter Of Time Before Under-9s Team Realise Local Coach Hasn’t A Clue
  8. Half Of Animal Species In World In Decline Except Wasps, Unfortunately
  9. New ‘Little Mermaid’ Movie To Finally Answer Question Of What’s The Deal With Mermaid Genitalia
  10. RTÉ Insiders Concerned As Patrick Kielty Keeping Nordy Accent While Presenting Late Late

The Chive

  1. Modern geniuses or modern morons? We can’t decide (25 Photos)
  2. Random? Yes. Interesting? Yup. Facts? Maybe! (27 Photos)
  3. Weekend Afternoon Randomness (38 Photos)
  4. The cooking hacks that people swear by will up your game (20 Photos)
  5. A dose of Golden Hour for your eyes to devour (35 Photos)
  6. The Doggos Are Out to Play (25 Photos)
  7. Sexy Backs Are Back and Sexy (25 Photos)
  8. Let the Dank Memes Flow through You (25 Photos)
  9. Amazing architecture that just might inspire your next renovation (30 Photos)
  10. Cats on a Saturday (25 Photos)

Pinboard Funny

  1. 📸 on Twitter: "Bank holiday weekend is here https://t.co/lgh1n7kZn4" / Twitter
  2. (710) These Fake Beards Will Save an African Child’s Life - Key & Peele - YouTube
  3. Varga "Cigány" Zoltán - 1999 Salgó Rally Lada - YouTube
  4. Testimony
  5. (44) Walter White in Mario Kart Wii - YouTube
  6. Hybridization in citrus cultivars
  7. A Day in the Life of a Woke Third-Grade Teacher, as Imagined by a Far-Right Politician - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency — A Day in the Life of a Woke Third-Grade Teacher, as Imagined by a Far-Right Politician https://ift.tt/kDMEhfv funny, wokeness, education, politcs
  8. Puffs, the Harry Potter spoof, is a huge hit. J.K. Rowling could learn from it.
  9. xkcd: Commemorative Plaque
  10. innocent drinks on Twitter: "IS CHATGPT BETTER AT OUR JOB THAN US? - PART 3 One of these Apple Juice adverts was written by us. And one was written by ChatGPT. Please vote for the best one so we know how quickly to send out our CVs. Poll to follow. https: — IS CHATGPT BETTER AT OUR JOB THAN US? - PART 3 One of these Apple J…
  11. one curlyboy
  12. Maybe make a different selection – Bits and Pieces
  13. BEOWULF Shrinklit by Maurice Sagoff
  14. xorvoid — C-like compiler in 512 bytes
  15. Marjorie Taylor Greene demands "decorum of the House" — and gets explosive laughter in return (video) | Boing Boing
  16. These thoughts on becoming a parents pretty-much match with mine (except funnier)
  17. NEW CAVEMAN GAME MODE! | Among Us - YouTube
  18. [no title] — Among us funny clip
  19. User Inyerface - A worst-practice UI experiment
  20. The Law of Small Numbers
  21. The real Bumblebee and Optimus Prime roll out for Georgetown statues - The Washington Post
  22. Trevor Wallace on Instagram: “It’s international whiskey day 🥃” — 494K likes, 2,855 comments - Trevor Wallace (@trevorwallace) on Instagram: "It’s international whiskey day 🥃"
  23. Trevor Wallace on Instagram: “It’s international whiskey day 🥃” — 494K likes, 2,855 comments - Trevor Wallace (@trevorwallace) on Instagram: "It’s international whiskey day 🥃"
  24. Day after day – Bits and Pieces
  25. De novo evolution of macroscopic multicellularity | Nature
  26. How to organize your books — even when you have thousands of them - The Washington Post
  27. Universal Music Partners With AI Company Endel to Win Sleep Playlists – Billboard — Universal Music Partners With AI Company to Win Sleep Playlists Endel, a leader in the lucrative "functional music" space, will transform projects from UMG's roster into soundscapes for relaxing or studying
  28. Thug Life - Travel Mug Infomercial troll #shorts - YouTube
  29. 30 Of The Funniest Road And Shop Signs Around The World, As Shared In This Online Community | DeMilked
  30. Adobe + Figma – Roel van der Ven — This made me chuckle.
  31. Chris Bakke on Twitter: "My local dry cleaner was struggling to pay the bills. He was losing $10,000/mo. I told him to "use AI to transform his business" He took my advice. Bought a $20/mo subscription for ChatGPT. His business is totally transformed. He — My local dry cleaner was struggling to pay the bills. He was losi…
  32. spaf: "I have been editor of a securi…" - Mastodon 🐘
  33. NERD HARDER! FBI Director reiterates faith-based belief in working crypto that he can break | Boing Boing
  34. Dragon Tax Return Simulator 2015
  35. Come see me on tour in 2023! ttomcomedy.com #shorts #funny #comedy #standupcomedy #youtubeshorts - YouTube
  36. August 12th, 1971 - You're Getting Old! — 15th May 2026
  37. [40k] Imperial Commissar finally gets therapy (Astra Militarum) - YouTube — [40k] Roboute Guilliman confronts a Black Templar (Warhammer)#warhammermemes #imperialguard #astramilitarum #warhammer40k #warhammer40kmemes #warhammer4...
  38. 69 ways to say you're horny | Mashable
  39. How every political scandal develops! - YouTube
  40. Alex Arrelia on Twitter: "Fuck it. I’m doing it: Men of Middle Earth as bad ex boyfriends who ruined your life:" / Twitter
  41. dave trott on Twitter: "I haven't been reading Campaign or Marketing Week lately. Am I supposed to be panicking about ChatGPT, or the Metaverse, or Bitcoin, or QR codes, or Pokemon GO?" / Twitter — I haven't been reading Campaign or Marketing Week lately. Am I supposed to be panicking about ChatGPT, or the Metaverse, or Bi…
  42. Совершены облеты территорий Российской Федерации с чудотворной иконой преподобного Серафима Саровского / Новости / Патриархия.ru — 17-18 мая 2023 года силами авиации войск Национальной гвардии и сектора по взаимодействию с Росгвардией Синодального отдела по взаимодействию с Вооруженными силами и правоохранительными органами …
  43. "I Don't Wanna Dance With Nobody" - a song for introverts
  44. Texas A&M Professor Wrongly Accuses Class of Cheating With ChatGPT – Rolling Stone — A NUMBER OF seniors at Texas A&M University–Commerce who already walked the stage at graduation this year have been temporarily denied their diplomas after a professor ineptly used AI software to assess their final assignments, the partner o…
  45. But *how* can a global communications network help us eat more sulfur?
  46. How to have theme music follow you around
  47. Figen on Twitter: "Very good magic. https://t.co/8zK0WZcxfs" / Twitter
  48. Sixty days on a ledge in the Atlantic: teacher aims to break Rockall record | Rockall | The Guardian
  49. Futurama - Best of Zapp Brannigan Season 1 to 7 - YouTube
  50. Sir Humphrey explains Brexit - YouTube
  51. xkcd: Health Data
  52. Canon! Vs! Fanfic!
  53. Elon Musk gives interviewer ‘best awkward pause since Ricky Gervais in The Office’ - YouTube
  54. The Best on Twitter: "Infinite watermelon https://t.co/sFThmojgRI" / Twitter
  55. (1) Gypsy in my Mind (Disco Rave Edit) - Never Dull (TikTok) - YouTube — This little kid is dancing in the middle of a disco looking completely confident even though he's surrounded by much older kids. So funny.
  56. Pushing a naval mine off a mountain - YouTube — Croatian soldiers defending Livno using a naval mine against Serb forces in 1992.This isn't a music translation, but while I was editing footage for a song (...
  57. Your Slow and Sad Descent Into Bird-Watching | The New Yorker — oh no
  58. 4.2 Gigabytes, or: How to Draw Anything - ⌨️🤷🏻‍♂️📷 — I envisioned a massive, alien object hovering over a long-abandoned Seattle, with a burning orange sky, and buildings overgrown as nature reclaimed the city.
  59. (3) I had ChatGPT write a Decemberists song
  60. Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards - the finalists for every year since 2016
  61. A history of metaphors for the internet - The Verge — When I wrote about this web surfing competition, it got me thinking about different metaphors for the internet. Surfing seemed like an odd one, an artifact from a very particular time in the mid-1990s when people used terms like “information superhighway” and “cyberspace”…
  62. User Inyerface - A worst-practice UI experiment
  63. Daring Fireball: 'Die of Boils, Mr. Sparky Car'
  64. My obsession with Adrian Chiles’ column - The New European — I do not hate you, Adrian Chiles, for making me think more than is strictly necessary about your cock. Neither do I blame Kath Viner, the editor of a proud liberal newspaper that’s recently celebrated its two hundredth anniversary of speaking truth fearlessly unto …
  65. 요즘 카페 테이블 낮은 이유.jpg - 고급유머
  66. Is Generative AI in 2023 as Transformational as Indoor Plumbing Was in 1920? — Viewing technology’s evolution and the promise and reality of seismic shifts can be viewed through three platform shifts that have occurred, and are still occurring, through the past several decades. Gerety listed them: The initial shift at the…
  67. A press conference for a bus stop shade structure that will barely provide shade to riders. LA City Council is so unserious. : LosAngeles
  68. "Pastor" David Manning And The Flaming Buttholes - YouTube — God put fire in the butthole!
  69. xkcd: Siphon — Alt text re nuclear power is pretty funny
  70. User Inyerface - A worst-practice UI experiment

Buzzfeed

  1. Julia Fox Is The Most Divisive Person In Fashion, So Let's Decide If These 40 Looks Are Actually Good Or Not
  2. Everyone Has A Beige Flag. What Is Yours?
  3. I Know You Won't Believe Me, But I Really *Can* Guess Your Zodiac Element Based On Your Job Choices
  4. Are You More Like An Angel, A Demon, Or A Spirit?
  5. There Are 7 Female Archetypes. Which One Are You?
  6. The Psychological-Complex Test
  7. Pick A Color Palette And We'll Accurately Guess Your Relationship Status
  8. Let's See If You're The "Lalala" Half Or The "Okeokeoke" Half In Your Duo
  9. Your Childhood Toy Preferences Will Reveal Which Barbie You Are Deep Down Inside
  10. This Brutally Honest Quiz Will Finally Reveal The Truth About Why Absolutely Nobody Wants To Date Your Little Sorry Ass
  11. This Quiz Knows The Exact Time And Date You'll Meet The Love Of Your Life
  12. "I Regret Only That It Took This Long For Us To Highlight Her Unthinking Hatred": The Onion Is Launching A Crusade Against J.K. Rowling's Anti-Trans Bigotry
  13. 17 Young Celebs People Think Are The Spitting Image Of An Older Celeb
  14. 25 Exceptionally Hilarious Viral Tweets That Prove Women Are The Funniest People On Earth
  15. Order Up Some Trendy Foods And I'll Totally Guess Your Age With Freaky Accuracy
  16. We Know Exactly When And How You Are Going To Die, Down To The Exact Minute And Location
  17. 23 Hysterical Tweets By Women That Totally, Completely, 100% Consumed My Entire Mind This Week
  18. I Am Genuinely Curious If You Think These 45 Men Are Good Or Gross
  19. Would You Smash Or Pass These Iconic "Gilmore Girls" Boyfriends?
  20. This Influencer Simulation Game Will Determine If You Can Make It On The Internet Without Getting Canceled
  21. 20 Cringey And 9 Funny Things Celebrities Did At The Beginning Of The Pandemic That Are Wild To Look Back On Now
  22. Everyone Has An Icky, Icky, Icky, Icky, Icky Ick — Find Out What Yours Reallyyyyy Is
  23. 28 Tweets By Women That Made Me LITERALLY Laugh My Ass Off This Month (Like, I Laughed So Hard My Butt Actually Said "Sayonara!" And Fell Off My Body)
  24. Here's How Different Famous 30-Year-Olds Of The Past 80 Years Look Compared To Famous 30-Year-Olds Today
  25. A Pic Of Someone Eating A Rack Of Ribs On A Flight Is Going Viral, And Now I Want To Know Where You Stand On Eating These 32 Foods On A Flight
  26. This Might Sound Wild, But I Can Guess Your Birth Month Based On Your Cookie Preferences
  27. 21 Tweets By Women That Are So, So, So, So, Soooooo Outrageously Hilarious
  28. The Human Emotion Test
  29. 20 Hysterical Tweets By Women That Made Me Laugh So Hard The Wind Was Knocked Right Out Of Me
  30. This AI Quiz Will Write A Rom-Com About You In, Like, Less Than 30 Seconds
  31. Let's See If You Have A NEGATIVE Or POSITIVE Opinion About These 50 People At This Exact Moment In 2023
  32. Answer 10 Personality Questions To Get Your Human-Predicted Star Sign And Your AI-Predicted Romantic Future
  33. We Can't Possibly All Be A King — Are You A Soldier, Poet, Or King?
  34. Are You A Soldier, Poet, Or King?
  35. What's Your 2023 Aesthetic?
  36. "No One Else In The World Does It": People Are Sharing The Telltale Signs That Someone Is American, And Some Of These Are Painfully Accurate
  37. I Ranked 133 Celeb's Bathrooms From Best To Worst, And I'm Honestly SHOCKED By How Many Are Ugly And Dysfunctional
  38. Pick A Food For Every Letter From A To Z And Our Quiz Algorithm Will Calculate Your Exact Age
  39. Which Alex Warren Song Are You?
  40. Which "Ginny And Georgia" Character Are You Most Like?
  41. Let's Decide If Céline Dion Is A Better Singer Than These 30 Artists Who Actually Made Rolling Stone’s Top 200 List
  42. Megan Fox Says She's Currently Looking For A Girlfriend, And Now Her Fiancé, Machine Gun Kelly, Has Responded To The Post
  43. Greta Thunberg's Response To Andrew Tate Getting Arrested Is One For The History Books
  44. I Picked 13 "Wednesday" Quotes And Want To See If You Can Match Them To Their Character
  45. Sorry, But This Hot Guys Vs. Food "Would You Rather" Is Superrr Hard
  46. Everyone Is Arguing About Who Should Run Twitter, And I Want To Know If You Think These 35 People Would Better Than Elon Musk
  47. Eat At This Donuts-Only Bakery To See What Big Event 2023 Has In Store For You
  48. Sorry Mom And Dad, This Quiz Will Show You Who Your Parents Actually Are — Spoiler Alter: They're Disney Characters
  49. Forget Naughty Or Nice, You're Going To Have To Decide Whether To "Kiss" Or "Diss" These Christmas Movie Characters
  50. Everyone Loves To Debate Whether These 40 Names Are "Dog Names" Or "Human Names"
  51. I Can Guess Your Zodiac Sign Based On The Foods You're Drawn To
  52. Which Name Suits You Best?
  53. Design An RV And I Can 100% Guess Your Zodiac Sign
  54. It Will Be Really Interesting To See Who You Think Is More "Likable" Out Of These 45 Power Couples
  55. We Can Guess Your Aesthetic Based On The Meals You Choose
  56. 20 People Who Had A Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way Worse Week Than You
  57. With Just 7 Questions, I Can Predict What Your Love Life Will Look Like In 2023
  58. Let's See If You Ship These "Wednesday" Characters Or Not
  59. Not Too Sure If You'd Get Along With Wednesday? Well, This Quiz Will Tell It All
  60. The World Might Not Be Ready For A Ranking Of 11 Famous Dicks, But I Made It Anyway
  61. Which "The Addams Family" Character Are You Most Like?
  62. Timothée Chalamet Seems To Always Be Pulling Looks Lately, So I'm Curious If You Like Them Or Think He's Trying Way Too Hard
  63. You’re Gonna Think I’m Lying, But I Can Guess Your Age Solely Based On Your Christmas Coffee Order
  64. 25 Things Millennials And Gen Z'ers Do That Are Actually Very "Toxic"
  65. 23 Extremely Attractive Celebrity Kids Who Look Either A Whole Lot Like Mom Or Dad
  66. QUICK! Come Laugh At The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets Of All Time Before Twitter Becomes A Barren Wasteland
  67. I'm Genuinely Curious If You Find Chris Evans Sexier Than These Guys — Like, These Questions Are Harder Than You Think
  68. Any Of These 40 Guys Could Be The 2022 "Sexiest Man Alive," And I'm Curious If You Agree With Me Or Not
  69. I've Rounded Up 45 Of The Most RANDOM Celeb Couples Of The Past 25 Years, So Now Let's Decide If They Should Date Again Or Not
  70. Okay, But Can We *Actually* Guess Your Age Based On Your Meal Preferences?
  71. Hailey Bieber Is Considered A Gen Z Style Icon, But I'm Curious About Whether You Think These Outfits Hit Or Missed
  72. 32 "House Of The Dragon" Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Team Black
  73. 15 "Would You Rather" Questions That Will Seriously Make Your Brain Hurt
  74. Which Iconic Halloween Celebrity Are You?
  75. This Spooky Stock Photo Quiz Will Reveal Which Halloween Costume You Should Wear
  76. I Hate To Break It To You But If You Recognize Any Of These 32 Pictures You Are Officially Old
  77. Megan Fox's Style Has Completely Changed In 10 Years, So I'm Curious If You Prefer Her In The 2010s Or 2020s
  78. LGBTQ People Shared Their "Baby Gay" Pictures With Us, And If These Pictures Don't Make Your Day, Nothing Will
  79. I Wouldn't Be Surprised If Any Of These 40 Famous People Ran For President, So I'm Curious If You'd Vote For Them Or Not
  80. These 26 Halloween And Christmas Decorations In Kim Kardashian's House Are Extremely Divisive, So I'm Curious Where You Stand On Them
  81. It's Obvious How Old You Are From The Fall Coffee Drink You Create
  82. I'm Genuinely Curious If You Consider These 41 Things Cheating
  83. Bella Hadid Had A Dress Spray-Painted On Her During A Fashion Show, And It Has To Be Seen To Be Believed
  84. Julia Fox Is The Most Divisive Person In Fashion, So Let's Decide If These 45 Looks Are Actually Good Or Not
  85. We Can Guess Your Favorite Ice Cream Flavor Based On Your Food Preferences
  86. Here's How Different The Most Famous 21-Year-Olds Of The Past 80 Years Look Compared To The Most Famous 21-Year-Olds In 2022
  87. Leonardo DiCaprio Is Rumored To Be Dating Gigi Hadid; If That Doesn't Work Out, Let's Decide If These People Would Be A Good Match For Him
  88. Are You More Like A Golden Retriever Or Black Cat?
  89. Julia Fox Showed Up To The New York Fashion Week Red Carpet In A Totally See-Through Dress With Saran Wrap Heels
  90. 31 Questions That Will Confuse The Straights But Be Aced By Lesbians
  91. Let's See If You Think These 54 Controversial Or Divisive People, Shows, And Movies Are Actually Funny Or Not
  92. I Am Genuinely Curious If You Think These 30 Toppings Belong On A Pizza Or Not
  93. I Bet I Can Guess Your Age Based On The Foods You Choose
  94. I Bet $5 Bucks I Can Guess Your Favorite Color Based On The Desserts You Munch On
  95. We'll Tell You If You Have What It Takes To Be Leonardo DiCaprio's Girlfriend Based On One Question
  96. Your Temperament Perfectly Aligns With A Dog Breed, And I'm Excited To Tell You Which One

Newsthump

  1. I was fisted by Schofield: Gordon the Gopher tells all
  2. Cornwall absolutely f**king rammed already
  3. Wokeness made my cock and balls fall off
  4. Piers Morgan and Mizzy join forces to create first ever supertwat
  5. Office bastard organises Friday afternoon meeting
  6. Multi-millionaire perfectly comfortable with the idea of a recession if it makes it look like he’s good at his job
  7. Car crash at Downing Street gates as Suella Braverman late for work
  8. Inflation only coming down because of the things we are doing, insists government that claimed there was nothing they could do to influence inflation when it was going up
  9. Latest net migration figures give Nigel Farage his ‘best erection in years’
  10. Man who blames all of the nation’s ills on ‘migrants’ horrified to learn the only thing keeping the UK out of recession is strong net migration

The Daily Mash

  1. Five local funfair experiences that are pretty f**king far from fun
  2. Millennial thinks he’s almost ghosted enough women to settle down
  3. What the continental football shirt you choose to wear says about the twat you are
  4. Man trying to ignore all the shit bits about sunshine
  5. Camping chairs, hummus, Prosecco: The middle-aged concert-goer’s packing checklist
  6. Nan wants postcard from stag weekend
  7. Five ways your online food delivery is f**king you over
  8. Inspirational ginger actually likes the sun
  9. Streaming services’ best shows summed up for people too tight to pay for them
  10. Sex Bomb, and other songs your mum shouldn’t sing along to
  11. How to brazenly buy condoms
  12. Brexiter wondering if perhaps he was the dickhead
  13. UK’s last Bovril drinker unable to explain why
  14. Should I get my tits out? A comprehensive guide for women
  15. Seven ways to walk past a homeless person without being consumed by middle-class guilt
  16. Woman into World War 2 every man’s fantasy
  17. Wild, Wild West, and other films with f**king horrible theme songs
  18. The killjoy realist’s guide to why the energy bill drop will make f**k all difference
  19. If only there were a Tina Turner song we could use as a tribute headline
  20. Six TikTok genres that should f**k off and die

The Poke

  1. Burger, egg, macaroni cheese and batter? Sounds like a recipe for disaster
  2. 17 things that will probably make you say “Nope”
  3. Can you pass a GCSE in Social Media?
  4. Six updated classic fairy tales with a slightly more modern twist
  5. Speed awareness videos really shouldn’t be as entertaining as this
  6. Jeremy Vine’s C5 show asked if we should stop benefits for people too sick to work – 13 favourite responses
  7. Comeback of the day
  8. Donald Trump Jr’s unfortunate autocue mix-up was a glorious self-own
  9. These 25 quotes from Flat-Earthers are out of this world
  10. A Tory MP was asked the same question 9 times and still refused to answer – Theo Paphitis’ reaction said it all
  11. 13 of the funniest pictures that went viral on Reddit this week
  12. 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
  13. There’s not enough nope in the world for this web-based test of friendship
  14. Simply 9 of the funniest and most brutal comebacks that went viral this week
  15. A lost key led to the chance discovery that an elderly neighbour had been letting herself in uninvited
  16. There was a car crash in Downing Street – just not the usual one
  17. Brian Cox livened up Radio 4’s Today show by shouting ‘Bollocks!’
  18. This ‘very British concern’ about a first class toilet on a 747 has the perfect payoff
  19. This guy asked AI to write a ‘Shakespearean’ response to his nitpicking neighbours and it’s fabulous
  20. This sleepy dog trying to stay awake on the sofa is very funny and totally relatable

Reddit Funny

Cracked

  1. The Man Making A.I. SpongeBob Covers of Emo Songs
  2. ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ star Curtis Armstrong Explains the Difference Between Dorks and Nerds
  3. ‘Platonic’ Features the Low-Key Darkest Joke of Any Comedy So Far This Year
  4. The Funniest Lines from ‘South Park,’ According to Reddit
  5. 5 Fascinating Technologies the World Forgot Once They Were Replaced
  6. 15 Swerves of Trivia That Drained Our Bank Accounts This Week
  7. Late-Night Guests Who Owned Their Hosts
  8. Five Times Being Dead Didn’t Prevent Someone from Being Executed
  9. 15 Trivia Tidbits About Bobby Hill
  10. Bobby Lee Calls Bullshit on Podcast Company Dumping Deal Over Morals Clause
  11. ‘Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’ Easter Egg Pays Tribute to Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner’s Friendship
  12. Amy Schumer's Inclusion on This Viral Best Comedians of All Time List Is Making People Very Angry
  13. What Was Steve Martin Doing in Front of Joe Rogan’s Comedy Club?
  14. The Best Musical Moments from ‘Parks and Recreation’
  15. Howie Mandel Is Ready for A.I. to Write His Jokes
  16. The ‘Seinfeld Backstage’ Instagram Account Is a Polaroid-Filled Celebration of the Show’s Style Legacy
  17. Tom Hanks Plays Bill Murray in New Wes Anderson Film
  18. 5 Times People Went to Great Lengths for a Couple Extra Inches
  19. 15 Hall of Fame Jokes and Moments from Arnold Schwarzenegger
  20. Mort Sahl: How the Comedy Legend was ‘Canceled’ For JFK Conspiracy Theories
  21. 4 Shady Moves Husbands Pulled to Beat Divorce Settlements
  22. 15 Trivia Tidbits About Matt Groening’s ‘Life in Hell’
  23. Here’s Why Chris Tucker Turned Down $12 Million to Do ‘Next Friday’
  24. Here Are the Billboards That Prove Every City in America Has a Saul Goodman
  25. Bowen Yang Unknowingly Witnessed Jeremy Strong’s Strangest Method Acting Moment Yet
  26. Adam Sandler Is Switching Sports from Basketball to UFC
  27. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Comedy Performances, Ranked
  28. Your Brain Will Thank You Later for Peaking in High School
  29. The Scummiest Cheating Scandal in the History of Sports
  30. Seth Rogen Says the Comedy Line He Won’t Cross Is Jokes About Infidelity
  31. 15 Trivia Tidbits About ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’
  32. Greg Gutfeld Is Apparently Pro-Grooming — As Long As It’s Not Gay
  33. The 12 Best Dark Humor Jokes About Money
  34. 5 People Who Concussed Their Way to Greatness
  35. Four Times Breakfast Cereal Invaded the World of Physics

Fark

  1. About farking time [Murica]
  2. Wife told me to put ketchup on our Memorial Day weekend barbecue shopping list. Now I can't read anything [Spiffy]
  3. Not so smart lawyer learns you can't trust ChatGPT the really, really hard way [Dumbass]
  4. Georgia asks that you please wear clothes for your driver's license photo [Giggity]
  5. At 10:30PM ET things are going to get sloppy and dirty on Noise Factor. Tonight's riffs are some of the filthiest sludge I could dredge up. Chron Goblin, Vomit Monster, Floaters, Scum Giant, Age of Taurus and more. You may need a shower afterwards [Live]
  6. We asked 100 married men how many of them were planning on killing their wives [Followup]
  7. Paraglider perched precariously at Poo Poo Point [Silly]
  8. Photoshop this photogenic extremophile [Photoshop]
  9. US Army's Criminal Investigation Division decides to skip arrests, trials, convictions, listing "adverse information" on 1000s of soldiers in DoD, FBI criminal databases [Asinine]
  10. Today in "oh, THESE dipshiats again?" [Asinine]
  11. Police arrest kidnapping victim over ransom demand [Dumbass]
  12. In Texas, "Fart Spray" cans are prohibited weapons that can get you years in jail. Semi-automatic rifles still A-OK, though [Asinine]
  13. Swap-O-Rama lives [Interesting]
  14. If you live in Florida, it's best to assume that everything is a threat [Florida]
  15. Crocodile farmer killed after falling into enclosure. Friends became concerned due to not seeing him after a while [Scary]
  16. This is going to be a summer of chaos at the airport [Obvious]
  17. Old friend malaria returns, certain to enliven summer holiday adventures at beaches, theme parks, backyard cookouts [Florida]
  18. Things must be awesome at UK airports. Look at the huge crowds there [Fail]
  19. Take the gun. Leave the shovel [Weird]
  20. Third grade honor roll student is being held back to repeat third grade because she doesn't do tests well [Facepalm]
  21. Photoshop these eight keys [Photoshop]
  22. Massive lion strolls through campsite in front of stunned campers, likely looking for Yogi's pic-a-nic basket (possible nsfw content on page) [Scary]
  23. Not working? Hit it with a tire iron. "Car expert" the Sun is there [Facepalm]
  24. The Merriam-Webster word of the day for May 27 is interpolate, as in At the multinational law enforcement meeting, interpolate a lot of donuts [Amusing]
  25. But it says it right in the name - HOME Depot [Amusing]
  26. Gallant seniors post high school on Zillow, amuse school officials. Goofus seniors pour cement in school toilets, ransack classrooms, spray graffiti, and face potential criminal charges [Asinine]
  27. Littering, transportation, Tina Turner, and Florida Woman are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, May 18-24 Temu Edition [Spiffy]
  28. Perhaps a program like this would help most Farkers [Followup]
  29. Man uses blowtorch to expel of spiders invading his house. No word on spiders but man expelled to jail [Dumbass]
  30. Inventor of GPWS dead at 91. At his funeral, the coffin chirped: Terrain Terrain {woop woop} Pull Up Pull Up {woop woop} [Sad]
  31. No shoes, no service, no walking the stage to pick up your high school diploma [Florida]
  32. The latest thing that millennials have ruined? Getting too many tattoos because they "trivialize permanent things and permanentize trivial things" [Obvious]
  33. It was only a matter of time when Zillow and senior pranks came together [Amusing]
  34. Photoshop this service [Photoshop]
  35. When you drop your phone in a reservoir, just let it go, man, 'cuz it's gone. Or you could do what this dillweed did [Dumbass]
  36. Day 458 of WW3: is it time to open up a big-ole can of whoop-ass? "We're ready to begin counter-offensive," says Oleksiy Danilov, secretary of the National Security and Defence Council of Ukraine. This is your Saturday invasion conversation [News]
  37. "The less time a cat stays in a shelter, the better." Welcome to Caturday [Caturday]
  38. All 199 countries in the world have managed to agree on one thing: the color can be blue, red, green or black [Interesting]
  39. Corrupt Russian officers are allowing mobilized men to stay at home in exchange for 1/2 their salary [Amusing]
  40. Snorting coke, rocking out, doing vodka shooters and trying to reach for a gun is no way to get out of a police standoff alive son [Sad]
  41. TikTok the clock runs out on Mizzy [Followup]
  42. Kill housing costs and commuting problems with one stone [Amusing]
  43. Placensia hugging was not in my de-escalation training [Unlikely]
  44. Always look on the bright side of life [Giggity]
  45. Crane used to remove bear from South Philly house [Amusing]
  46. Connecticut votes to exonerate 17th century witch conviction. Samantha Stevens, Endora and Aunt Clara nod in agreement [Interesting]