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The Onion

  1. Polar Vortex Splits Into U.S.-Chilling Rings
  2. Michael Cohen Says He Paid To Rig Polls In Trump’s Favor
  3. Trump Dismisses Trump As A Distraction
  4. Trump Postpones Grand Opening Of Trump Tower Moscow Until Fuss Over Bombshell Report Dies Down
  5. ‘If This Report Is True’ To Be Repeated 5.7 Billion Times Today
  6. Defiant Pelosi Begins Swimming To Afghanistan After Trump Denies Use Of Government Plane
  7. Patriots Score 2 Touchdowns Against Chiefs In Preemptive Strike Before AFC Championship Game
  8. 5 Things To Know About Kirsten Gillibrand
  9. ICE Launches Campaign To Reunite Immigrant Children With Arresting Officer
  10. ISS Astronaut Sick Of Sharing Confined Space With Crass, Disgusting Partner From Polaris 8
  11. Fans Shocked After Marie Kondo Reveals She Has Been Dating Untidy Cupboard For Past 6 Months
  12. Should The Oakland A’s Have Sent Brad Pitt To Persuade Kyler Murray?
  13. Tom Brady Feeling Guilty After Gorging Self On Full Order Of Kansas-City-Style Tap Water
  14. Yahoo! Turns 25
  15. Woman Didn’t Know Progress On Toxic Masculinity Would Turn Boyfriend Into Such A Weepy Little Pansy
  16. Ready For Her Close-Up: This Actress Is Ready For Her Close-Up
  17. John Bolton Insists Iran Likely Harboring Dangerous Terrorist Osama Bin Laden
  18. Could This Be The Last Season We See Rob Gronkowski Fully Assembled In A Patriots Uniform?
  19. ‘Don’t Make Me Regret This,’ Mueller Tells Rick Gates Before Uncuffing Him To Work On Investigation Together
  20. Pelosi Asks Trump To Delay State of the Union During Shutdown
  21. Karen Pence Returns To Work As Part-Time Nude Art Model
  22. Poll Finds 100% Of Americans Blame Shutdown Entirely On Colorado Representative Scott Tipton
  23. 5 Things To Know About ‘Glass’
  24. Presumptuous Congressional Freshman Thinks She Can Just Come In And Represent Constituents
  25. Ames Executives Scrambling After New Shovel Design Leaks

Waterford Whispers

  1. 5 Dublin Pubs That Don’t Check ID
  2. Overpaid Bank CEOs Strike For Worse Pay & Working Conditions
  3. Woman Spends Zero Euro To Look Nothing Like Kim Kardashian
  4. Aer Lingus Unveil New ‘Not As Bad As Ryanair’ Logo
  5. God Ignores Yet Another Prayer Notification On His Phone
  6. Gardaí Join Yellow Jacket Movement By Mistake
  7. We Go Behind The Scenes Of Ireland’s No Deal Brexit Planning
  8. Turlough O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd Moriarty Shanahan Named In Ireland’s 6 Nations Squad
  9. Tom Cruise To Star In New ‘Mission Possible’ Franchise
  10. Coming Out As Vegan To Your Beef Farming Father

The Chive

  1. Film directors that started as music video directors (18 GIFs)
  2. Cat Saturday (33 Photos)
  3. Guy creates Tropic Thunder Theme song and it’s glorious (Video)
  4. Creepy facts that will chill you to the bone (16 Photos)
  5. Beautiful badasses looking hot in (and out of) uniform (48 Photos)
  6. Camera man gets “danger close” to Patriot missile launch (Video)
  7. Weekend Morning Awesomeness (38 Photos)
  8. Owner finds out ‘trainer’ scams people to sell their dogs (40 Photos)
  9. A-Rod messes with woman who thinks he looks like “the guy JLo is dating” (Video)
  10. Words that have both good and bad meanings are hurting our heads (24 Photos)

Pinboard Funny

  1. How Stranger Things’ preteen fans went to war with the EU | Law | The Guardian
  2. Nike’s auto-laced future | TechCrunch
  3. Der Postillon: Er wurde nur 67: Erfinder der Autokorrektur unerwartet gestohlen — Er wurde nur 67: Erfinder der Autokorrektur unerwartet gestohlen -- Ein ganz Grober ist von und gegangen: Am Sonntagabend ist der Erfinder der beleibten Autokorrektur Mark Umsatzsteuer in Sand Französische an Herzversand gestorben. Der 67-jähri…
  4. Romesh Ranganathan: ‘I’ll stop talking about race when I stop experiencing racism’ | Culture | The Guardian
  5. Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names | Kalzumeus Software
  6. Go Get a Roomie! - Chapter 14- Steaming you up
  7. Just a quick bump : gifs
  8. Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat | The Babylon Bee — The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.
  9. Onion Futures Act - Wikipedia
  10. Go Get a Roomie! - Chapter 12
  12. Animating URLs with Javascript and Emojis
  13. State Bar of Texas | Say What?!
  14. Pop Song (Jon Lajoie) - YouTube — Slightly dated but an underrated sendup of boyband music culture including the inexplicable rap interlude.
  15. Kevin Roose on Twitter: "Speaking of coordinated inauthentic behavior, what are the odds that all these 5-star Facebook Portal reviewers on Amazon just happen to have the same names as Facebook employees?… https://t.co/wKRAT1xiTa" — Speaking of coordinated inauthentic behavior, what are the odds that all these 5-star Faceboo…
  16. Gluten Free Antarctica (Idle Words)
  17. Twitter — #parenting 232 #comic #comicstrip #webcomic #CLIPSTUDIOPAINT #lol #funny #kids #hair #makingcomics
  18. Hell launches 'Unruly Tourist' pizza
  19. Guy hacks into a second life club and the members get VERY angry : videos
  20. Highway to the Danger Zone: The Heterosexual Tragedy of Top Gun | Tor.com
  21. Open Letter: An Open Letter to the Mathematical Community - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
  22. p8952/bocker: Docker implemented in around 100 lines of bash
  23. xkcd: History Department
  24. El Goonish Shive - Sketchbook - 2018-037 — El Goonish Shive is a comic about a group of teenagers who face both real life and bizarre, supernatural situations.
  25. Yinzerotica: Erotica for Pittsburghers - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency — dear god
  26. The rowdy tourists currently obsessing all of New Zealand media
  27. - M R - B L A C K - - YouTube
  28. Luis's Uploads
  29. Freefall 03223 January 4, 2019
  30. Promo #2: Yearbook - YouTube
  31. Google just spent $40 million for Fossil’s secret smartwatch tech - The Verge — “The addition of Fossil Group’s technology and team to Google demonstrates our commitment to the wearables industry by enabling a diverse portfolio of smartwatches and supporting the ever-evolving needs of the vitality-seeking, on-the-go consumer.”
  32. In Which I Rank Grocery Store Apples – Chuck Wendig: Terribleminds — GREEN DRAGON That apple above is the Green Dragon, which is a great name for an apple, if that apple were good. And this one is not good. It is an apple that is best fed to children and horses. Okay, so here’s the thing, I cut open this apple to take a loo…
  33. President Annoyed (picture)
  34. If People Acted Like They Do on Dating Apps - CollegeHumor Video
  35. timplunkett on Twitter
  36. Waiters and waitresses, what are some signs you’re serving a first date? : AskReddit
  37. xkcd: Million, Billion, Trillion
  38. Conan O’Brien Wants to Scare Himself With the New, Shorter ‘Conan’ - The New York Times
  39. The Orbital Display by StartRocket — say hello to new media — Ads in space - via Millie
  40. Microsoft font gives away forgery in bankruptcy case – Naked Security
  41. Bear-Resistant Pelican Cooler | Pelican Cooler Review — Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center
  42. SNL: Matt Shatt — A reporter's (Kenan Thompson) broadcast from the site of a sinkhole gets off-topic when he interviews a beautiful woman (Margot Robbie) and her unimpressive husband (Mikey Day).
  43. The Useless Web
  44. Alexandra Petri - The Washington Post — Alexandra Petri is a Washington Post columnist offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences."
  45. The Cooper Review – Medium
  46. Bald Eagles true meaning : WhitePeopleTwitter
  47. 7 brutally funny cartoons about the Trump shutdown
  48. Russia says Ukraine may no longer be a country soon : worldnews
  49. Llis
  50. The antisocial laptop
  51. Marisa Debowsky on Twitter: "The internet is full of headdesk, so good thing my #MysteryHunt slack is full of wonderful humans who are staging an epic... game? interactive art installation? with me this weekend."
  52. Mount Vesuvius and Chemical Warfare : JUSTNOMIL — Abuela is a tiny woman who has either shrunk with age or always been naturally short, but nobody is quite sure which. Abuela has been the victim of a home invasion during which she beat the robber senseless with her rolling pin. Abuela's aim has only increased with age,…
  53. MPs are being brilliantly trolled by billboards featuring their own tweets | indy100
  54. Toto - Africa (Vocals 1 Step Out of Key & Off Beat) - YouTube
  55. On the association between adolescent well-being and digital technology use — Lies, damn lies, and statistics. 'if we believe screens are destroying a generation [of kids] that would mean that so are potatoes, having asthma, not drinking milk, going to movies, music, religion, being tall, biking, and wearing glasses' [...] …
  56. The Mysterious Poster Campaign Trolling Politicians With Their Own Words Has Escalated | HuffPost UK
  57. Matt Greer on Twitter: "Just did a bit of Jussi Jaaskelainen stat hunting and I’m sure we can all agree that committing just 7 fouls in his Premier League career, but still managing collect 24 bookings and 4 red cards (all straight reds) is absolutely a
  58. Welcome to the Westminster apocalypse. Have you thought about theocracy instead? | Marina Hyde | Opinion | The Guardian
  59. Petr Cech’s trophy-strewn career the result of enduring excellence | Dominic Fifield | Football | The Guardian
  60. your friend Helen on Twitter: "For the record I filed with “Filets-o-Fish” and copy editor extraordinaire @lleibowitzz set me straight: McDonald’s corporate dictates that the plural style is “Filet-o-Fishes” https://t.co/VMA1L9ROMS"
  61. List: If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
  62. Cover Letter to the Search Committee from My Shadow Self - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
  63. Welcome to My Massive Open Online Cult! - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
  64. Open Letter: An Open Letter to the Mathematical Community - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency — We should return to our Pythagorean roots, and become a cult.
  65. Gay Frogs (Alex Jones REMIX) - YouTube
  66. Who the fuck is my #DND character?
  67. Chris Carrabba: Covered in the Flood - PopMatters — Dashboard Confessional's leader goes under his own name for a meandering collection of covers.
  68. This mom who hired a 5 piece jazz band to wake up her daughter who hates getting up : funny
  69. Why these sea slugs look so much like David Bowie | PBS NewsHour — By drawing comparisons between sea slugs and Ziggy Stardust, the Bowiebranchia blog exposes the wild, beautiful and competitive evolution of both.
  70. Someone attached two leaf blowers to a sled and put their kid on it

Buzzfeed

  1. These 20 Trivia Questions Will Separate The Millennials From The Gen Z'ers
  2. 23 Absolutely Perfect Ways To Respond To A Text From A Huge Douchebag
  3. High School Teachers Are Sharing Their Darkest Secrets And It's Honestly Kinda Shocking
  4. 17 Cock And Ball Pictures That Prove They're All Really Different
  5. People Are Tweeting Outrageous Lies They’ve Told For Personal Gain And Whewwwww
  6. If You Were Stabbed By A Pencil And Still Have A Mark, YOU ARE NOT ALONE
  7. 28 Tweets About Food That Are Honestly Way, Way Too Real
  8. Macaulay Culkin Had No Clue Why His Brother Was At The Golden Globes And I Can't Stop Laughing
  9. 17 Tweets From This Week That Will Have You Crying Laughing
  10. 25 Things Americans Do In Movies That Make No Sense To Everyone Around The World
  11. You Might Be 100% Weird If You've Done 30/30 Of These Oddball Things
  12. The 19 Greatest Wedding Disasters That Probably Overshadowed The Ceremony
  13. 16 Parents Who Definitely Got Creative With This Whole Punishing Thing
  14. 19 Absolutely Hilarious Things Kids Actually Said This Past Year
  15. 23 Dads Who Truly Out-Dadded Themselves In 2018
  16. The 18 Absolute Dumbest Things Anti-Vaxxers Actually Said In 2018
  17. The 24 Most Painfully Awkward Things That Happened To People In 2018
  18. People Hired Beyoncé To Perform At Their Wedding And Twitter Has QUESTIONS
  19. The 27 Absolute Dumbest Things That Happened In 2018
  20. 50 Of The Absolute Funniest Tweets From 2018 (That Got Over 50K RTs)
  21. 17 Drunk People Who Made 2018 A Much Better Year
  22. 26 Times People On The Internet Knew EXACTLY What To Say In 2018
  23. 29 Extremely Specific Things Literally Everyone Did As A Kid For No Reason
  24. This Dog Went Viral On Tumblr Because She's So Smart And Naughty
  25. 16 People Whose Ability To Improvise Is Honestly A Little Alarming
  26. There Are Only 8 Personality Types In The World. Which One Are You?
  27. 22 Parents Who Just Took A Long, Deep Sigh And Said, "Why Me?"
  28. 20 Reasons Why Millennials Are A Complete And Total Disgrace To The World
  29. 21 People Who Kinda Blew It If We're Being Honest
  30. This Girl Thought We Lived 'Inside' Earth, And 2018 Is Now Canceled
  31. 20 Tweets About Food That'll Make You Hold Your Stomach In Laughter
  32. 25 Pictures That Are So Damn Dumb But So Damn Funny
  33. These Two Cats Have Been Trying To Sneak Into A Museum For Years, And It’s Honestly Inspiring As H*ck
  34. 27 Tweets That Are True For Absolutely No Reason At All
  35. 23 Tweets People Under 20 Will Never Even BEGIN To Understand
  36. 17 Times Everyone On Tumblr Was Like, "America, Are You Okay?"
  37. 19 Tumblr Posts About Men That'll Make Women Shake Their Heads And Say "Damn"
  38. How Many Millennial Stereotypes Can You Claim?
  39. Make A Pizza And We'll Reveal The Title Of Your Sex Tape
  40. Can We Accurately Guess Your Romantic Type?
  41. 19 Sickos Who Belong In Jail
  42. 22 Pictures That Are So Dumb They'll Make Your Brain Hurt
  43. How Well Do You Know The Lyrics To “Baby Shark”?
  44. This New Mom's Husband Asked Her Why She's So Cranky In The Mornings, And Her Response Was Perfect
  45. 19 Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up What Adulthood Is All About
  46. David Schwimmer Reveals His Alibi And Denies He Is The Thief Police In England Are Looking For
  47. 21 Unintentionally Hilarious Knock-Off Halloween Costumes That Are Just MAYBE Better Than The Real Thing
  48. 50 Facts That Will Freak You Out If You Think About Them For Too Long
  49. 17 Wife Fails That Are So Bad They're Actually Pretty Damn Brilliant
  50. People Are Sharing Obvious Things That They Only Just Learned And, TBH, It's Hilarious

Newsthump

  1. Jacob Rees-Mogg asks his LBC listeners which race of boy makes the best chimney sweep
  2. Saturn’s rings revealed to be much younger than Jacob Rees-Mogg
  3. Continued existence of Chris Grayling leads to concern that human evolution is broken
  4. Woman who always has heating on full still going out in a strappy top and skirt tonight
  5. Remainer demands that Romeo and Juliet be rewritten as he didn’t like the ending
  6. We are having a second vote on my deal in case anyone has changed their mind, insists irony-free Theresa May
  7. Ghostly White Fiat Uno flees Prince Philip crash site
  8. 97-year-old boy racer flips car
  9. Mexico to spend $5billion on border stairs
  10. Theresa May tries to sway Jeremy Corbyn with enormous jar of homemade jam

The Daily Mash

  1. ‘For Christ’s sake, stop talking like that’ say babies
  2. What does your hangover pizza say about you?
  3. Middle class man thinks he’s an expert on street crime
  4. Five new dating trends to make you think ‘F**k it, I’ll stay single’
  5. New vegans warned to monitor self-deception levels
  6. Has your friend been to Australia and turned into a racist?
  7. Woman admits sex was never as exciting as her new Dyson
  8. Got that f**king grouse though, says Philip
  9. Plans great until you have to actually f**king do them
  10. Unite behind me you twats, says May at cross-party talks
  11. Neighbours delighted man’s friend beeped car horn 15 times as he left last night
  12. Man decides 10-pin bowling is ‘just a laugh’ after discovering he’s shit at it
  13. Teenager is first in his family to go to university with two Es
  14. Theresa May’s guide to hanging on like an idiot
  15. Strong and stable government to continue
  16. Bar owner cannot believe people will pay ten quid for a ‘mocktail’
  17. Are you a weird Labour MP who’s obviously joined the wrong party?
  18. Four new wellness trends for 2019 that we’ve just pulled out of our arses
  19. Remainers really wishing Jean-Claude Juncker wasn’t such a git
  20. ‘Oops, did our advert piss off dickheads?’ asks razor blade company

The Poke

  1. Subtitle fail of the week
  2. This engineer’s takedown of why Trump’s wall won’t work is utterly devastating
  3. Gary Lineker shared this of him and Piers Morgan and now we can’t unsee it
  4. Liz Kershaw saw an upside to 430 job losses but not everyone spotted the silver lining
  5. The upside to Prince Philip’s car crash was this very funny thread that people thought must be a parody (it’s not)
  6. Mexico’s biggest airline is trolling Americans and it’s brutal with a lovely twist
  7. Our 25 favourite jokes of the week
  8. Watch as an audience of bewildered Americans view an episode of Vic & Bob’s ‘Shooting Stars’
  9. The Question Time audience cheered a ‘no deal’ Brexit and people can’t believe it
  10. People thought there was something missing from headlines about Prince Philip’s crash
  11. These logo misuse guidelines are as hilarious as they are unlikely
  12. This NSFW Fifty Shades-style poem absolutely nails Brexit
  13. The Nigel Farage private plane saga got even better with a huge self own – 12 first-class responses
  14. This woman coach of a men’s football team beautifully took down this sexist question
  15. Emmanuel Macron’s Brexit speech went viral because he nails it rather well
  16. The Irish Border has nailed the state of Brexit – again
  17. Vic and Bob doing Peter Kay on Masterchef is the best 100 seconds you’ll spend today
  18. J.R.R. Tolkien’s reply to the Nazis is a burn that has stood the test of time
  19. This takedown of the Gillette ad backlash is a fascinating take on how the media works
  20. This Tory MP claimed Bird Box was like no-deal Brexit scaremongering

Reddit Funny

  1. skateboarding isn't real, kids
  2. Blind Dates
  3. Cat beard
  4. Oh Michael!
  5. What the hell ?
  6. Title
  7. What a logic
  8. Evenly matched
  9. Things We’re Never Gonna Do - Give You Up
  10. Scientist found a way to erase memories...
  11. Asking for a roast but getting destroyed
  12. The wish of a 5th grade :)
  13. My knife is coated!
  14. slurp
  15. This baby Walmart is cute af
  16. Taekwondo is so confusing
  17. Life hacked!
  18. I have been chosen! 🐼
  19. 10+ year challange
  20. Kid decides to baptize himself after getting too excited
  21. Sneak Level 100
  22. True...
  23. Those damn salespeople
  24. Dont be racist
  25. Ah, the musician life
  26. Left beer in cooler outside. Wife found it. Figured the reddit would like this.
  27. I want a refund
  28. *John cena intensifies*
  29. Mr. Incredible irl
  30. Could it be
  31. Anyone wanna date hannah?
  32. We all know him
  33. Future father-in-law tired of kids littering up his favorite spot. Left a garbage bag and note. Hasn't been litter in weeks!
  34. Summary of strya
  35. A wee bit more
  36. By insisting you can achieve the impossible.
  37. *wink wink*
  38. I'm dizzy just looking at it...
  39. Snitch’s get Ligma
  40. #The500YearChallenge [x-post /r/KeanuBeingAwesome]
  41. a friend wrote this letter to her upstairs neighbors.
  42. I think Netflix is trying to hit on me
  43. Hold the line!
  44. Catfishing IRL...
  45. Happy family
  46. Yeah, it's gonna be a no from me, dawg.
  47. Wooow, who knew it?
  48. I've lost like 3648 pens😂😂
  49. Wise words from Kevin Smith
  50. Absolute hero
  51. !
  52. High speed chase.
  53. This about sums up internet arguments
  54. My life is fucked up
  55. First images from NASA's inSight rover on Mars
  56. Getting an expansion package without paying a dime.
  57. This is a problem
  58. Wait a minute....
  59. I’ll see you in the comment section
  60. The next level mario karting
  61. Dobby is cuter than I remember
  62. Aquaman doesn't trust frogs
  63. Acquisition is beautiful
  64. she did!
  65. Mobile Reddit > PC Reddit
  66. If I had a nickel everytime this happened.
  67. Pixels
  68. The resemblance is uncanny
  69. massive crack
  70. Trust issues
  71. Gifting a Roomba (WARNING: Loud)
  72. Saw this at work and thought you guys might appreciate
  73. Coming in 3D
  74. Probably won’t be able to wait a month..
  75. This isn’t the fly’s first rodeo
  76. This little guy stops by every single evening to mess with my cat.
  77. I think there is something wrong with my cat.
  78. cruel world we live in
  79. One more with the boys
  80. Adulting
  81. Motivational video
  82. Woohoo!
  83. Hello, my name is Cat And this is Horseass
  84. OPS! almost loool
  85. keep your friend close
  86. Looks like a conspiracy to me
  87. Latina moms
  88. Husband thought that this is a real snake
  89. Yep 😊
  90. Probably only amusing to my fellow nerds out there
  91. Where the Lamb sauce at, though?
  92. My shirt is a hit at work today
  93. The most Canadian way to deal with a double parking idiot
  94. This should replace the Mona Lisa.
  95. NOOT NOOT
  96. This big cat is on thin ice...
  97. Champ with rage
  98. Well... That's true
  99. Spinning Like A Pro
  100. Hilarious!!!!

Cracked

  1. 5 Local Officials Who Went Mad With Power
  2. 20 Ways The Government Shutdown's Destroying America
  3. Behold, A Movie About A Guy Who Kills Hitler And Bigfoot
  4. Here Are 40 Covers For Classic Books (IF They Were Honest)
  5. 4 Strange Ways Everyday Foods Can Affect Your Brain
  6. 6 Nerdy References Hidden In Your Favorite Movies And Shows
  7. Ghostbusters 3 Was Announced Months Ago, But No One Noticed
  8. 10 Open World Missions To Make You Regret Your Game
  9. 5 Types Of Crime Everybody Pictures Completely Wrong
  10. YouTube Is Sick Of Dumb Pranks After The Bird Box Challenge
  11. 5 Weirdly Complex Pop Culture Frauds
  12. 6 Crazy AF Products Celebrities Actually Tried To Sell You
  13. Let's Go Nuts Overanalyzing The 'Game Of Thrones' Teaser
  14. 8 Movie Posters From Other Countries That Are Simply Awesome
  15. 5 Famous Magazine Covers With Crazy Stories You Never Knew
  16. That Story About Robbie Williams And Jimmy Page Is Likely BS
  17. Travel Alert: The Skies Of Brazil Are Full Of Spiders
  18. 5 Incredible Times Everyday People Saved The Day
  19. 6 Wild Criminal Schemes You Won't Believe Are True
  20. 6 Ways Hollywood Ruins Fight Scenes
  21. 6 Terrifying Animal Swarms Capable of Causing Total Mayhem
  22. Want The Best Job Of The 21st Century? Learn To Herd Goats
  23. How A Dead Nun Ended Up With Teeth Full Of Treasure
  24. Here's How Your Brain Makes You Buy Stupid Crap
  25. 5 Surprising Signs That Indicate You Might Be A Psychopath
  26. Hanger And The Munchies: 5 Common Food Feelings Explained
  27. Check It Out, Nerds: There's a 'Ghostbusters' Dinosaur
  28. When Life In New York Was A Real-Life Dystopian Action Movie
  29. 5 Hidden Details In Your Favorite Cartoons You Never Noticed
  30. According To Marvel, Loki Wasn't Really A Villain ... Huh?
  31. Margot Robbie's Playing Barbie (Yes, There's A Barbie Movie)

Fark

  1. Ha Ha, fatbergs have been increasing in recent years and will soon consume you. Live it up while you can skinny humans [Scary]
  2. Half of American adults don't know what type blood they have. That's not a Type O [Fail]
  3. Photoshop this roller splayer [Photoshop]
  4. Instagram influencer couple who plummeted 800ft to their deaths taking a selfie at Yosemite were drunk at the time. Talk about hitting rock bottom [Followup]
  5. Man uses his 'deep voice' to get felines to flock to him for belly rubs. Meanwhile, subby still has the scars from the last time he tried that on Caturday [Caturday]
  6. I don't remember measles being a problem when I played Oregon Trail [Scary]
  7. ♪ Someday, when you are older / you could get hit by a boulder / When you're lying there, cold and bitter / the police will post on twitter ♪ [Scary]
  8. Zimbabwe shuts off the internet to stop the spread of false and malicious reports about a violent crackdown by their benevolent security forces [News]
  9. Remember Warren Jeffs? His brother resurfaced recently with plans to build a large building on a remote plot of land in Minnesota [Creepy]
  10. Man sleep proposes to his girlfriend while on Ambien, claims to have no memory of the event the next day. The question in my mind is now: is Ambien a powerful halucinogen or a convenient excuse for actions you regret the next day? [Scary]
  11. Thanks to the government shutdown, DC workers have nothing better to do than sit around with their dick in their hands [Obvious]
  12. Not News: Coal ash is contaminating the water supply in West Virginia. Still Not News: And Texas. Fark: And at least 20 other states [Scary]
  13. Canada and Norway locked in international moose-off over whose is bigger [Spiffy]
  14. Bill proposed to allow Washington State students to use medical marijuana in school. Allowing experimentation in the lab with the chemistry teacher still a ways off [Interesting]
  15. Facebook hit with another 'record' fine. It's possible that they'll need to look in the other sofa, but I doubt it [Murica]
  16. Protein bars recalled for undeclared proteins? That's just nuts [Scary]
  17. Utility worker in bucket truck needs to find new pants, hose out bucket after close encounter with tractor trailer (with video) [Scary]
  18. I don't care what you're selling; if you advertise in this manner, I will never purchase your product [Stupid]
  19. Commuters in Seattle dealing with the closure of the viaduct are advised to leave early, be patient, and try not to let their cars catch on fire [Scary]
  20. "The best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation." So, moving out of Australia then [Scary]
  21. Excuse me, do you have Prince Philip in a new car? [Followup]
  22. Fark Ready: Smoking crack, sex while driving land Nashua man under arrest in Manchester [Dumbass]
  23. And the award for best police officer name ever goes to... this guy [Amusing]
  24. Photoshop this water tower [Photoshop]
  25. UPS driver strips, grabs wet biatch in what could be the plot of Magic Mike 3 [Hero]
  26. Criminal: "You'll never catch me alive, coppers." Nearby pond: "lemme help" [Dumbass]
  27. Sleepless Nebraska student builds 84 snowmen in one night. This story is brought to you by Adderall [Cool]
  28. Manson follower who tried to assassinate President Ford is now living quietly in upstate NY, at least until one of you asshats puts the White Album on [Creepy]
  29. ♫ Swastika Acres is the place for me / At least that's what it says on my deed ♫ [Strange]
  30. Three years ago, India committed $3 billion to cleaning up the Ganges River. Let's check in on how that's going... oh [Obvious]
  31. Photoshop this colorful donkey [Photoshop]
  32. Is a gang of serial killers murdering young men across the country? Possibly. EVERYBODY PANIC [Scary]
  33. Police department seeks volunteers to get drunk -- and the response is overwhelming [Followup]
  34. El Chapo's 29-year old mistress becomes the latest person to "flip" on him at trial, describing in detail their relationship and business dealings she was involved in; and since his WIFE was also in the courtroom, she's likely the NEXT one to flip [Awkward]
  35. Mayor of Jamaica, Iowa arrested at 420pm for 18 plants [Obvious]
  36. Woman chugs an entire bottle of cognac when stopped by airport security. What's her Fark handle? [Hero]
  37. Indiana is so backwards the Nazis live in Zionsville [Ironic]
  38. Let's play a game. Without looking at the caption, can you spot the camera in the photo of the room? No? Well, Airbnb claims it's easy to see, so that means you consent to being secretly filmed [Creepy]
  39. Echo park mudslide crushes cars. ᴱᶜʰᵒ ᵖᵃʳᵏ ᵐᵘᵈˢˡⁱᵈᵉ ᶜʳᵘˢʰᵉˢ ᶜᵃʳˢ [Scary]
  40. A metric ton of weapons-grade plutonium? A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with that stuff [Interesting]
  41. Why is China blurring men's ears? I SAID, 為什麼中國模糊了男人的耳朵？ [Weird]
  42. Yale pulls out of plan for contraception vending machines [Awkward]
  43. Magazine suggests women put parsley in their vagina to induce period. Doctors say this is a terrible idea. Also, as this is the Daily Fail, we must now doubt the existence of parsley and periods [Stupid]
  44. Photoshop this dancin' doggie [Photoshop]
  45. Best Korea celebrates its victory over the ocean by opening a beach resort [Weird]
  46. Silly smart objects, smart toilets, and cars too smart for their own good. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, January 6-12 Cornbread Edition [Spiffy]
  47. Two words: S......l......o......t......h y.......o......g......a [Strange]
  48. New York City will be a snowing freezing hell this weekend rather than its usual regular hell [News]
  49. Three Bentley owners prove that the cars have great brakes in £1 million pile up. New driving skills not included [Fail]
  50. Reset the church shooting clock [News]